Ms Vancouver
Leather 2002; Pat Tucker / badslavegrrl
Mr. & Ms Vancouver
Leather Questionnaire
Stage Name
badslavegrrl (a.k.a. Pat Tucker)
Leather/Fetish Club
Memberships
BodyPerve Social Club
Western Canada Leather Pride
How long have you been into
"Leather"?
The first sexual fantasies that I remember involved some
form of Sm, usually bondage & discipline. Those started when I was
very young, probably about 8 or 9 years old. My first actual experience
occurred when I was 9, when a friend's older sister unexpectedly arrived
at my house with a skipping rope, a belt, and a ping pong paddle. She told
me that she had heard I was a "bad girl", tied me up with the skipping
rope and paddled and strapped me. There wasn't really any form of anything
we could call "foreplay" - it just happened very naturally. I had random
Sm experiences throughout my adolescence and adulthood, whenever the
opportunity presented. I finally determined that random experience was not
enough and that what we call "vanilla" sex was becoming utterly
frustrating. So I changed that, and have been actively and consistently
practising Sm for about 10 years now. As for the actual leather
part, I have loved the total sensuousness of leather - its look,
smell, taste, touch, and those sweet noises that it makes - for as long as
I can remember. I was one of those kids who liked polishing her shoes.
Relationship status
single
 Why do you want to be Mr. or
Ms Vancouver Leather?
Because I think I have a fair chance of making a
contribution that would benefit my community, and that the title would
enhance my ability to do so. More specifically, I intend to continue my
efforts to have BDSM recognized as a culture rather than as a "lifestyle"
by the Diversity Relations Department of the Vancouver Police. I believe
that like any other culture, we have needs and traditions that set us
somewhat apart from the mainstream and that we are as deserving of care
and protection as anyone else. I am aware, through personal experience and
the experiences of others, that the police are ill-equipped to deal with
instances of violence and abuse within our community; like many people,
they believe that we like to get hurt. I do not feel that the GLBT members
of the Diversity Committee can properly represent us and certainly can't
be expected to represent leatherfolk who are not G, L, B, or T. The
title would indicate that I have the support of the community and, I
believe, is as important as my academic credentials in this endeavour.
I would also like to be Ms Vancouver Leather Pride because
it would afford me an opportunity to meet leatherfolk outside of
Vancouver, and hopefully succeed in bringing us all a bit closer
together.
What would you do to unify the
leather community?
When I think of "the leather community" my first thoughts
are of my own community - the gay community, of my brothers and sisters
and elders who make up my own family. This statement does not arise from a
position of exclusiveness or a belief in segregation. I am very grateful
for the acceptance and affection that members of the larger
BDSM/leather/fetish community give me so generously. I am a proud member
of the pansexual Body Perve Social Club, and have been a regular
participant there for years now. But I think that there remains much work
to be done at home, and that a strengthening of the bonds between gay
leathermen and leatherwomen is as much in order as is continuing to build
bridges to the larger community.
So that said, what I would like to do is create events and
opportunities for men and women (of all definitions) to come together, to
socialize, to talk, to debate, to work and play together, to offer our
hands and open our arms together to that larger BDSM community. My
experience thus far has shown me that this is best accomplished by
introducing people personally, not just by throwing parties. I am blessed
with many friends, and I would like them to get to know one another a
little better.
What do you think makes a leather
person?
Passion. Courage. Devotion.
The passion that engulfs us when we stand with our kin, our
tribe, and we feel its heartbeat, breathe its breath, and know that we are
whole and together.
The courage to be who we are despite misunderstanding,
intolerance, and adversity.
Devotion to a set of beliefs and practices that are as old
as humanity and as deserving of reverence as any and all other cultural
and spiritual forms.
Give a brief biography about
yourself.
Personal Stuff
I was named "badslavegrrl" some years ago by a Lady who
felt that my manners could stand some improvement. I'm willing to confess
that even though I am capable of good (sometimes even superlative)
conduct, there are times when something just sort of comes over me and I
get a bit unruly. I respond well to corrective discipline though, and
appreciate every moment of it.
I define myself as a bottom. I used to prefer to call
myself a slave, but I found that a lot of folks believed that to mean that
I had no mind, no voice, no opinion, and no limits so I have opted for a
term that seems to be more resistant to misinterpretation.
But the bane of my existence in this business of defining
and being defined is that an awful lot of people, when they first meet or
see me, think that I 'm a Top. I've been told that this is because I'm
really big (which can't be right given that almost all of my Ladies have
been smaller than me), or because I wear a lotta leather with a lotta
shiny stuff on it (I have a profound leather fetish and was raised by drag
queens and gay male leather daddies), or because I "have a certain
bearing". I'm not sure what that actually means but I hear it a lot. It's
probably a simple result of the strong belief in "good posture" that the
nuns beat into us in elementary school.
The butch/femme thing has become kind of complicated for
me. I think that's because of my advancing age - I just turned 50 and I
can't quite believe it - and because there seem to be nuances in those
terms that were not there when I was growing up. So I don't know if I'm
"soft" or "hard" or "high". "High" femme, that is. But I've never heard of
anyone being called a "low" femme ... I've been told that my appearance
"cues" are sometimes confusing: I like to wear chaps over fishnet
stockings with sequined g-strings or studded thongs. I like big feather
boas with body harnesses. I like to chain my nipples to my collar. I have
long hair and lots of cleavage, and over the past few years I have
developed a fondness for slinky skirts and tight leather dresses. Given
that I spent the first 40 years of my life in jeans and plaid shirts, it's
no wonder that I'm a bit confused about how to apply the butch/femme
dichotomy to myself. Frankly, I still have trouble applying mascara.
I love the aesthetics of Sm, of leather. I love to fuck
around with the trappings of gender.
Community Stuff
Over a period of 3 years, I had the honour of being Madame
Secretary, President, and Official Coat Check Chick of The Vancouver
Leather Alliance. I am a founding member of Western Canada Leather Pride.
I sit on the steering committee for Indulgence, an event which we hope
will become an annual pansexual celebration of bdsm/leather/fetish here in
Vancouver. I make myself as available as possible for voluntary service in
the leather community.
I think that perhaps the most useful contribution I make is
the sharing of friendships and contacts. As I stated earlier, I have been
blessed with friendship and acceptance within the diverse groups that
comprise the larger leather community, and I happily and mindfully make
introductions.
I am one of the subjects in Paperny Films/ShowCase's 13
part documentary series KINK. The popularity of this program and the fact
that it has been running non-stop for a year now has made me very easily
recognized, and consequently has given me the opportunity to meet and talk
to hundreds of people about bdsm/leather/fetish. No kidding - I rarely go
to the corner store without being stopped by someone who watches the show.
At first, this was overwhelming despite my natural tendency to be friendly
and interested in people. But I have learned to handle it, mostly to enjoy
it. I hope I do it well; I think that I do. People keep telling me that
they think I was courageous, opening up like that in front of the cameras,
being naked, doing Sm, talking about difficult subjects sometimes.
Sometimes it took courage, yes, but I did it because I could, because so
many of us are forced to stay closeted. I am out. And I am willing to
stand up and speak.
Professional Stuff
I have graduate degrees in psychology and have been working
in public mental health for most of my life. I have always worked with
marginalized and disenfranchised groups, and for the past 12 years have
directed a counselling clinic for street-involved people with HIV/AIDS.
Most of our clients are sex trade workers, injection drug users,
transsexual & transgendered people, and male survivors of chronic
sexual abuse. I have worked with HIV/AIDS since 1985, and I sometimes
teach at one of the local universities.
Given the current government's funding cuts, my counselling
project is forced to close its doors this month. Consequently, I am
finally leaving public health and education and opening a private practice
- Kink Friendly Counselling Services - which hopes to address mental
health needs within the leather/bdsm/fetish community.
I am also currently developing my skills (and a business)
as a bondage gear and harness maker and I love that; I love the pleasure I
see in my customers ' eyes.
Sm Stuff
Should I say what I do in terms of Sm? Okay. I love paddles
and single tails, bondage, hot wax, tit torture, needles, knives, fisting,
gangbangs, all of the physical stuff and I love a level of intellectual
stimulation that challenges me. I love to be able to anticipate and meet
the needs of my Top in a manner that is reverent and creative. I love
FemmeDoms with a whole lot of attitude and a real firm hand. I love to
make good love to baaaaad women. I do, on occasion, find that dyke daddies
with big dicks have a certain charm. I love to serve well and mindfully,
and sometimes I love to just trick out and get real messed up and
dirty.
I'm not monogamous, and I'm not seeking a collar. I seek
knowledge, training, experience, and the company of like-minded
others.
I don't belong to any organized religion, but there is
often a strong component of spirituality in Sm practice for me. There is
the age old element of mortification of the flesh for enlightenment of the
spirit, the meditative quality inherent in focussing, and sometimes even
something approaching transcendence through the processing of pain.
Confusing word, that - pain. I prefer to say "intense stimulation." I have
not yet found a way to articulate these things well. Essentially, I
worship at the feet of stiletto-heeled Goddesses and there I find peace
and redemption.
Write to Pat at ms2002@vancouverleather.com..
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